These days society puts an abnormal pressure on guys. From your early teens, other guys tend to measure you with the number of girlfriends you have or the number of girls you have laid. From early high school, a guy who has a girlfriend is considered to be "cooler" than a "lamer" that has no girls at all.
If I had a teenage son, I would advise him to focus on perfecting himself instead of chasing girls. Society puts an abnormal pressure on younger (and even older) men. If you feel like you have to "prove yourself", your success and chances with women have already been RUINED.
Have you noticed that if you stress yourself too much about a certain thing, you will be much more likely to fuck it up? Most people will fail badly when they have to prove themselves under pressure. It's the same when it comes to getting girls. If you are pressured to get a girl because your buddies are constantly bugging you with your virginity or your being single, you will be guaranteed to get no girls at all.
The first step towards getting rid of this pressure put on you by society is understanding: Your value is not measured in the number of girls you fuck. Just keep this in mind to drop the great burden from your shoulders and open the way towards reaching your goal: getting women.
The second step is to get a hobby. Men with no life are very un-attractive to women. On the other hand, a man who is very passionate about something (whether it's a sport he is doing, playing the guitar, racing with his car, collecting rare insects or anything else you can think of) is very attractive to girls.
Lastly, the third step to become successful with women is putting in some work instead of feeling sorry for yourself. Nothing will fall into your laps from the sky unless you work for it. There is no need to stress yourself too much, simply have the will to learn and improve yourself. There is a lot of information available on the topic of seduction online, and by doing a little bit of research it's easy to find some useful tips.
If you have decided to act right now and don't want to spend months or years figuring out what works and what doesn't work from the pool of information found online, I suggest you check out my e-book, called "All About Women: The Encyclopedia Of Seduction" which covers each and every topic of the seduction process, from A to the Z.
And finally, don't forget that everything sounds great in theory but you will only get what you want if you act and put in the work necessary. Don't fall into the trap of becoming a seduction scientist who sits in front of his computer all day and has no life, just go out and decide to get the kind of women you have always wanted. Believe me, everything you need to make this reality is in you. Just bring it out!
Saturday, April 5, 2008
What Do Men and Women Want in a Love Relationship?
When recent polls asked what men and women would most like in their relationship, the resounding response was happiness. Is your love relationship a happy one? If it is not, then what exactly is a happy love relationship? This article tries to answer this pressing question. It will teach you how you can be guaranteed that your love relationship will bring you happiness.
As relationship advisor, I often hear men and women say they are happy with their love life. Behind closed doors, however, the same people who say they are happy with their love life admit that they are not. For many years, I have heard people say that although they are unhappy with what they have, it is better than being alone. Women, in particular, say it is too difficult to find a good man.
Certain steps are required to find the love relationship that will make you and your partner happy. Here are five simple steps to help you find the happiness that eludes you.
Step 1. Acknowledge that you have not been successful at relationship. This is key, because admitting that something is not right automatically programs your brain to bring about change. Denial, on the other hand, will keep you making excuses.
Step 2. When you have acknowledged the truth, you are now ready to finally succeed. Begin by finding love in the right places. What I mean here is a change of habit. I have put some of my clients through this process, and the result has been very rewarding for them. It also brought me much joy to know that somehow I have helped them find happiness.
Step 3. Seek your love relationship with the right person, your twin soul or what I call your soulmate. Here is why. Twin souls are two people who were created for and with each other in mind. They are parts of each other. This is why people may feel alone even if they are in a love relationship if it is not with their soulmates.
Your soulmate was created by a higher power, and it is only this higher power who can lead you to the person. Acknowledging this is a very important part of recognizing your soulmate. Because if a higher power created a twin soul for you the same higher power has created a way to bring the two of you together. This is so very important, I cannot stress it enough. I have gone through the process myself and know this from personal experience. So you have met a love interest, are dating or even in a relationship. You must do your part to recognize if you are each others soulmate or not. After that the next step, step 4 is the most important part of the process if you want assurance that you and your love interest were created for each other and that the relationship will work.
Step 4. Wait for a confirmation. When two people meet, the only way they can know they are soulmates is by receiving a confirmation. Confirmation comes in a variety of ways. Because soulmates were created for each other by a higher power, the same higher power will give you a confirmation. To make this point clear, I will ask you to see yourself as a mother. You have several cups in your cupboard. You ask your child to bring you a tea cup. Your child goes into the cupboard, where there are many different kinds of cups. The child takes one cup and brings it to you. You, the mother, will know whether your child has brought you the right cup. You then confirm the child?s success by letting the child know the cup is the right or wrong one. Likewise, your higher power will let you know if your man or woman is the right one.
Step 5. Finally, you must do your part. A higher power created a soulmate for you and will lead you to your soulmate and give you a confirmation when the two of you meet. The rest is up to you. It is important to understand that it is up to you to accept or not accept your soulmate. It is up to you to date, to meet people, and so on. And no matter what you may think, there are simple and effective ways of meeting the right person.
Let me draw upon the story of Adam and Eve to make a final point. When they were created for each other, after partaking of the fruit of the tree, Adam was displeased with Eve. Adam had the option of not accepting Eve as his twin soul, but Eve told Adam that, if he did not accept her, he would be alone. The secret here is to understand the word alone. Without your soulmate?s love, you will feel alone regardless of how handsome, beautiful, rich or famous you or your lover is. Understanding this is very important, because it will put you in the right frame of mind to go about your love life in the right way. Good luck to you!
As relationship advisor, I often hear men and women say they are happy with their love life. Behind closed doors, however, the same people who say they are happy with their love life admit that they are not. For many years, I have heard people say that although they are unhappy with what they have, it is better than being alone. Women, in particular, say it is too difficult to find a good man.
Certain steps are required to find the love relationship that will make you and your partner happy. Here are five simple steps to help you find the happiness that eludes you.
Step 1. Acknowledge that you have not been successful at relationship. This is key, because admitting that something is not right automatically programs your brain to bring about change. Denial, on the other hand, will keep you making excuses.
Step 2. When you have acknowledged the truth, you are now ready to finally succeed. Begin by finding love in the right places. What I mean here is a change of habit. I have put some of my clients through this process, and the result has been very rewarding for them. It also brought me much joy to know that somehow I have helped them find happiness.
Step 3. Seek your love relationship with the right person, your twin soul or what I call your soulmate. Here is why. Twin souls are two people who were created for and with each other in mind. They are parts of each other. This is why people may feel alone even if they are in a love relationship if it is not with their soulmates.
Your soulmate was created by a higher power, and it is only this higher power who can lead you to the person. Acknowledging this is a very important part of recognizing your soulmate. Because if a higher power created a twin soul for you the same higher power has created a way to bring the two of you together. This is so very important, I cannot stress it enough. I have gone through the process myself and know this from personal experience. So you have met a love interest, are dating or even in a relationship. You must do your part to recognize if you are each others soulmate or not. After that the next step, step 4 is the most important part of the process if you want assurance that you and your love interest were created for each other and that the relationship will work.
Step 4. Wait for a confirmation. When two people meet, the only way they can know they are soulmates is by receiving a confirmation. Confirmation comes in a variety of ways. Because soulmates were created for each other by a higher power, the same higher power will give you a confirmation. To make this point clear, I will ask you to see yourself as a mother. You have several cups in your cupboard. You ask your child to bring you a tea cup. Your child goes into the cupboard, where there are many different kinds of cups. The child takes one cup and brings it to you. You, the mother, will know whether your child has brought you the right cup. You then confirm the child?s success by letting the child know the cup is the right or wrong one. Likewise, your higher power will let you know if your man or woman is the right one.
Step 5. Finally, you must do your part. A higher power created a soulmate for you and will lead you to your soulmate and give you a confirmation when the two of you meet. The rest is up to you. It is important to understand that it is up to you to accept or not accept your soulmate. It is up to you to date, to meet people, and so on. And no matter what you may think, there are simple and effective ways of meeting the right person.
Let me draw upon the story of Adam and Eve to make a final point. When they were created for each other, after partaking of the fruit of the tree, Adam was displeased with Eve. Adam had the option of not accepting Eve as his twin soul, but Eve told Adam that, if he did not accept her, he would be alone. The secret here is to understand the word alone. Without your soulmate?s love, you will feel alone regardless of how handsome, beautiful, rich or famous you or your lover is. Understanding this is very important, because it will put you in the right frame of mind to go about your love life in the right way. Good luck to you!
Seduce Women Using Hypnosis: "Falling In Love Exposed!"
HERE'S NO SUCH THING, THERE'S NO SUCH THING, THERE'S NO SUCH THING!
Here is the first key secret to understanding, not only about seducing women , but any form of influence or persuasion, in any area of life:
There's no such "thing" as love. There's no such "thing" as passion. There's no such "thing" as attraction, or chemistry, or lust.
I know, I know, you're saying. That's the problem ... for most of you, most of the time, there's no such thing. There's just boredom, frustration, and playing with Mr. Winky.
But that's not what I'm talking about, so pay close attention. I'm not saying that people don't experience states of "attraction" or "chemistry" or "lust". What I am saying is that these states are processes that take place inside the human mind and body. Which means that they are states that ...
CAN BE SUMMONED FORTH AND DIRECTED AT WILL!
Here's An Example: "Falling in Love" Exposed!!
Since I'm being pretty general and theoretical here let's get a bit more specific and talk about what every woman dreams about: falling in love.
Now, based on what I've said so far, do you think I believe "love" is based on some mysterious "chemistry" that flows between two people? Maybe it's caused by a butt-naked little angel named Cupid who shoots an arrow into your ass?
No, Here's how people fall in love: First, understand you do NOT fall in love with someone when you are in their presence. No. You fall in love when you're off by yourself, thinking about them afterwards. This is why it is so hypnotically powerful, because you are doing it to yourself, and people are always their best hypnotists.
Here's how it happens: you go out with someone, maybe even one date. And then you go home, and you're lying there, thinking about them. And, you form an image of them in your mind. And as you do that, you start to list to yourself all the qualities about them that you like, "She's so , she's so , she's really ." Maybe then you picture you and them having lots of fun in all sorts of situations. Then you get that warm, funny feeling right in your solar plexus, and then, the nail in your coffin, you say her name to yourself 2 or 3 times. If you're really a geek, maybe you even dance around the house singing it! Or you possibly go about bring up her name in every conversation.
Sound familiar? Now, as you recall the times in your past when you did this, were you then able to stay cool, in control of yourself AND the relationship? Or were you calling her every day, always wanting to see her, and eager to kiss her ass, to the point where she, of course, dropped you?
Here's the point: "love" is a process people do to themselves! It's not a "thing" you trip over or a "hole" you fall into. And I know, even though I'm not there watching you, that as I describe it here on paper, you recalled and went through that process yourself, and recalled the feelings associated with it. And if I can do it to you, on paper, when I'm not even there, then you can, if you know how, skillfully describe this (or any other) process to a woman in your presence, link it to yourself, and in a matter of minutes, cause her ...
UNDERGO THAT PROCESS AND FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU ON THE SPOT, DUMMY!
Think about this for a second. The dumb process you did to yourself can now be used to make her fawn all over you, repeatably and predictably!
Of course, the same thing applies to any other process you want her to run, or state you want her to experience, whether it's forgetting your competitor, (There is another pattern for this called the infamous "Boyfriend Destroyer Pattern") or anything else you care to name. If she's done it or experienced it once before, you can get her to do it or experience it with you again!
Here is the first key secret to understanding, not only about seducing women , but any form of influence or persuasion, in any area of life:
There's no such "thing" as love. There's no such "thing" as passion. There's no such "thing" as attraction, or chemistry, or lust.
I know, I know, you're saying. That's the problem ... for most of you, most of the time, there's no such thing. There's just boredom, frustration, and playing with Mr. Winky.
But that's not what I'm talking about, so pay close attention. I'm not saying that people don't experience states of "attraction" or "chemistry" or "lust". What I am saying is that these states are processes that take place inside the human mind and body. Which means that they are states that ...
CAN BE SUMMONED FORTH AND DIRECTED AT WILL!
Here's An Example: "Falling in Love" Exposed!!
Since I'm being pretty general and theoretical here let's get a bit more specific and talk about what every woman dreams about: falling in love.
Now, based on what I've said so far, do you think I believe "love" is based on some mysterious "chemistry" that flows between two people? Maybe it's caused by a butt-naked little angel named Cupid who shoots an arrow into your ass?
No, Here's how people fall in love: First, understand you do NOT fall in love with someone when you are in their presence. No. You fall in love when you're off by yourself, thinking about them afterwards. This is why it is so hypnotically powerful, because you are doing it to yourself, and people are always their best hypnotists.
Here's how it happens: you go out with someone, maybe even one date. And then you go home, and you're lying there, thinking about them. And, you form an image of them in your mind. And as you do that, you start to list to yourself all the qualities about them that you like, "She's so , she's so , she's really ." Maybe then you picture you and them having lots of fun in all sorts of situations. Then you get that warm, funny feeling right in your solar plexus, and then, the nail in your coffin, you say her name to yourself 2 or 3 times. If you're really a geek, maybe you even dance around the house singing it! Or you possibly go about bring up her name in every conversation.
Sound familiar? Now, as you recall the times in your past when you did this, were you then able to stay cool, in control of yourself AND the relationship? Or were you calling her every day, always wanting to see her, and eager to kiss her ass, to the point where she, of course, dropped you?
Here's the point: "love" is a process people do to themselves! It's not a "thing" you trip over or a "hole" you fall into. And I know, even though I'm not there watching you, that as I describe it here on paper, you recalled and went through that process yourself, and recalled the feelings associated with it. And if I can do it to you, on paper, when I'm not even there, then you can, if you know how, skillfully describe this (or any other) process to a woman in your presence, link it to yourself, and in a matter of minutes, cause her ...
UNDERGO THAT PROCESS AND FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU ON THE SPOT, DUMMY!
Think about this for a second. The dumb process you did to yourself can now be used to make her fawn all over you, repeatably and predictably!
Of course, the same thing applies to any other process you want her to run, or state you want her to experience, whether it's forgetting your competitor, (There is another pattern for this called the infamous "Boyfriend Destroyer Pattern") or anything else you care to name. If she's done it or experienced it once before, you can get her to do it or experience it with you again!
Dating Advice #2: Where Girls Go To "Get Laid"
This time I want to talk about a wonderful opportunity to meet a large number of hot girls. I think it's one of the easiest places to pick up women ? and with a little bit of skill you will have literally no competition.
Most guys go to clubs, only to find a bunch of rejective girls and great competition in the form of other men. But have you ever thought of visiting one of the local dance-schools?
I know, I know... Now you will come with the typical excuse: you are not a "very good" dancer. But think a bit! If everyone was a good dancer, such schools wouldn't exist! There are also a large number of dances to choose from: I'm sure you can find one that you will like.
Just take my example: to be honest, I was never a good dancer. I have never done any competitive sports and when I was younger I wasn't the best in gymnastics. But still, I have decided to go for it and tried Salsa-dancing. And boy, just what I found! A great number of beautiful, single women eager for my attention!
Apart from dance classes, most of the dance schools organize their own parties. Meeting girls at these parties is a piece of cake: you don't need to know lame pick-up lines or fancy ways of approaching women. All you need is to ask her for a dance and the rest will flow naturally.
After dancing, just grab the hand of the girl and ask if she wants to talk a bit. If you know to dance just a little bit, she will be already attracted to you and ready to go further. Believe me, guys who know how to move are VERY ATTRACTIVE to women! Since there are also a lot of girls who are just interested and don't even know how to dance, you can go far with only a little bit of skill. That is not hard to get by taking dancing lessons for 3-4 months.
And the party is not over yet. Most of these girls are not only single, but also very intelligent and know how to move their bodies. Read: they are damn good in bed! If you are interested, I suggest you do a search on the Internet for local dance schools. Visit a few of them then decide which is the best. I suggest you check out either Salsa or Standard Latin dance-schools.
Finally, if you are looking for more tips and ideas on improving your success with women, check out my e-book called "All About Women: The Encyclopedia Of Seduction". It covers each step of the seduction process, from the way women think to learning the attitude which attracts women, approaching women (and getting over the anxiety), and also improving the effectiveness of your dating and enchaining your sexual life. Whether you are ugly, bald, young, old or broke, the techniques I teach will work for you like charm!
Goodbye till next time,
-Giuseppe Notte
What separates you from the guys who attract the most beautiful women? It's NOT your looks or money.
Giuseppe Notte is the author of an amazing new e-book, "All About Women" that will teach you the secrets of dating and mating with the most beautiful women - whether you are ugly, fat, young, bald or broke!
Most guys go to clubs, only to find a bunch of rejective girls and great competition in the form of other men. But have you ever thought of visiting one of the local dance-schools?
I know, I know... Now you will come with the typical excuse: you are not a "very good" dancer. But think a bit! If everyone was a good dancer, such schools wouldn't exist! There are also a large number of dances to choose from: I'm sure you can find one that you will like.
Just take my example: to be honest, I was never a good dancer. I have never done any competitive sports and when I was younger I wasn't the best in gymnastics. But still, I have decided to go for it and tried Salsa-dancing. And boy, just what I found! A great number of beautiful, single women eager for my attention!
Apart from dance classes, most of the dance schools organize their own parties. Meeting girls at these parties is a piece of cake: you don't need to know lame pick-up lines or fancy ways of approaching women. All you need is to ask her for a dance and the rest will flow naturally.
After dancing, just grab the hand of the girl and ask if she wants to talk a bit. If you know to dance just a little bit, she will be already attracted to you and ready to go further. Believe me, guys who know how to move are VERY ATTRACTIVE to women! Since there are also a lot of girls who are just interested and don't even know how to dance, you can go far with only a little bit of skill. That is not hard to get by taking dancing lessons for 3-4 months.
And the party is not over yet. Most of these girls are not only single, but also very intelligent and know how to move their bodies. Read: they are damn good in bed! If you are interested, I suggest you do a search on the Internet for local dance schools. Visit a few of them then decide which is the best. I suggest you check out either Salsa or Standard Latin dance-schools.
Finally, if you are looking for more tips and ideas on improving your success with women, check out my e-book called "All About Women: The Encyclopedia Of Seduction". It covers each step of the seduction process, from the way women think to learning the attitude which attracts women, approaching women (and getting over the anxiety), and also improving the effectiveness of your dating and enchaining your sexual life. Whether you are ugly, bald, young, old or broke, the techniques I teach will work for you like charm!
Goodbye till next time,
-Giuseppe Notte
What separates you from the guys who attract the most beautiful women? It's NOT your looks or money.
Giuseppe Notte is the author of an amazing new e-book, "All About Women" that will teach you the secrets of dating and mating with the most beautiful women - whether you are ugly, fat, young, bald or broke!
Top 10 Male Turn Ons
t is an undeniable fact that a man is powerless to the charms of a beautiful woman. All men, however, have a different definition of beauty. Regardless of how a man defines what he finds attractive in a woman, there are several common male turn ons that all men would agree to. The following is a list of the top ten male turn ons:
1. Women who leave something to the imagination
As unbelievable as it sounds, men often prefer to be teased with a little taste of what is to come. This would include a woman who dresses to show a little skin, but not too much. For example, a female who offers the slight glimpse of a thong or a bra strap is often more seductive than one who is scantily clad. Women who maintain a certain degree of class are always more attractive to men than women who openly share all their secrets!
2. She is not afraid to admit that she loves sex
There is nothing wrong with enjoying the act of sex, and there are fewer things more attractive to a man than a woman who can admit this! Many men have a major obsession with sex, so a sexually confident woman with a healthy sex drive is a big turn on for them.
3. She has a strong sense of self-esteem
It is said that the dream of all men is to have a woman at his beck and call; au contraire, most men are looking for a woman who can think for herself. Men are hugely turned on by a woman who believes in herself and has the confidence to speak her mind. Men tire easily of women who constantly need to be reassured. A woman with self-esteem is more challenging and keeps men on their toes!
4. She knows how to talk dirty
It may sound clich?, but men love it when a woman talks dirty! For men, hearing a woman describe what she wants sexually is a turn on. Women who effortlessly talk dirty are exciting and hold the promise of amazing sex.
5. She loves her body
Men love to look at women?s bodies. It is no secret that men love a great pair of breasts or a lovely backside. Moreover, men love a woman who appreciates what she?s got and is not shy to show it. It is difficult to be turned on by a woman who is ashamed of her body, but a woman who embraces her attributes will always win the attention of eager men!
6. She has an accent
You have probably heard this one before and you may find it hard to believe, but true enough, an accent is a male turn on. Regardless of whether she is from Scotland or Spain, her accent will be perceived as exotic to a man. It is especially sexy when she is describing what she loves to do in bed!
7. She has a wicked sense of humor
A woman who can be funny is very attractive and approachable. Men are turned on by a witty woman; one who can dish it out as well as she can take it! A sense of humor adds playfulness to the relationship and always keeps them coming back for more!
8. She is adventurous
Women who are willing to try new things and live on the wild side will always win the attention of a man. Showing a free-spirited nature is sexy and a challenge for any man!
9. She is independent
Men do not like to think that every woman is seeking a lifetime commitment. Men are turned on by women who can have casual relationships, without attachment. An independent woman is self-sufficient and free to have fun!
10. She looks like a centerfold
We can all fantasize, can?t we? Men know that the majority of women do not look like Pamela Anderson, but that doesn?t keep them from wishing they could hook up with one who does.
1. Women who leave something to the imagination
As unbelievable as it sounds, men often prefer to be teased with a little taste of what is to come. This would include a woman who dresses to show a little skin, but not too much. For example, a female who offers the slight glimpse of a thong or a bra strap is often more seductive than one who is scantily clad. Women who maintain a certain degree of class are always more attractive to men than women who openly share all their secrets!
2. She is not afraid to admit that she loves sex
There is nothing wrong with enjoying the act of sex, and there are fewer things more attractive to a man than a woman who can admit this! Many men have a major obsession with sex, so a sexually confident woman with a healthy sex drive is a big turn on for them.
3. She has a strong sense of self-esteem
It is said that the dream of all men is to have a woman at his beck and call; au contraire, most men are looking for a woman who can think for herself. Men are hugely turned on by a woman who believes in herself and has the confidence to speak her mind. Men tire easily of women who constantly need to be reassured. A woman with self-esteem is more challenging and keeps men on their toes!
4. She knows how to talk dirty
It may sound clich?, but men love it when a woman talks dirty! For men, hearing a woman describe what she wants sexually is a turn on. Women who effortlessly talk dirty are exciting and hold the promise of amazing sex.
5. She loves her body
Men love to look at women?s bodies. It is no secret that men love a great pair of breasts or a lovely backside. Moreover, men love a woman who appreciates what she?s got and is not shy to show it. It is difficult to be turned on by a woman who is ashamed of her body, but a woman who embraces her attributes will always win the attention of eager men!
6. She has an accent
You have probably heard this one before and you may find it hard to believe, but true enough, an accent is a male turn on. Regardless of whether she is from Scotland or Spain, her accent will be perceived as exotic to a man. It is especially sexy when she is describing what she loves to do in bed!
7. She has a wicked sense of humor
A woman who can be funny is very attractive and approachable. Men are turned on by a witty woman; one who can dish it out as well as she can take it! A sense of humor adds playfulness to the relationship and always keeps them coming back for more!
8. She is adventurous
Women who are willing to try new things and live on the wild side will always win the attention of a man. Showing a free-spirited nature is sexy and a challenge for any man!
9. She is independent
Men do not like to think that every woman is seeking a lifetime commitment. Men are turned on by women who can have casual relationships, without attachment. An independent woman is self-sufficient and free to have fun!
10. She looks like a centerfold
We can all fantasize, can?t we? Men know that the majority of women do not look like Pamela Anderson, but that doesn?t keep them from wishing they could hook up with one who does.
8 Valuable Tips On How To Survive a Dumping
Unfortunately there is no magic formula for surviving a dumping. However, to find someone you want to spend your life with, you have to move on and plan a realistic time scale to move forward. Dating tips are just that, as everyone is an individual, and what works for one does not work for another. However there are fairly standard steps you can devise to succeed. There is no reason that you have to spend the rest of your life going out on your own, and eating solitary TV dinners.
1. DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY
You may have been dropped, but it may not be your fault. You may have a holistic approach to your emotional life, but maybe your date did not. Even if you accept that the break up is coming, it still hurts, it is traumatic. Age is not a great help here, it is always difficult to accept rejection.
2. WALLOW AND GRIEVE FOR YOUR LOSS
Accept the fact that the first couple of days are the hardest mentally and that once you have survived that you are on a roll to picking yourself up, and dusting yourself and getting back into the fray. If you feel like bawling your eyes out, and eating buckets of cookies, that's O. K. for a couple of days.
If you need to get help and support from your friends then ask them to help. The most damaging thing that you can do to your self esteem is to go back and contact your ex. That means e- mail, text and telephone, try and let it go. You are trying to pick yourself up to start again, there is no point in going back. You have to try and bury it with dignity, and whatever you have to do to achieve that, then go for it. If it means moping around, then mope. If it means having a makeover, then do it.
3. BURY ANY EVIDENCE OF YOUR EX
Whilst you are feeling annoyed, angry or disgruntled, and let down, destroy any painful reminders of your ex, such as photos. Try not to listen to music that meant something to both of you, it is OK to wallow in your grief, but do not rub salt in an open wound. This does not mean that you will never listen to that music again, you may even speak to your ex again, but give yourself an even money chance to heal now.
4.MAKE A LIST
Where you have taken down the photographs of your ex, replace it with a list. Draw up a list of the things, that really annoyed you about your ex. No I don't believe you - there has to be something!, if you are thinking he/she was perfect, you are idealizing him. The more humorous this list is the better you will feel, give yourself a laugh even if only through a veil of tears. Part of the pain of being dumped is that it is something that is outside your control, you may accept that the relationship was pear shaped, and maybe you wanted to end it, but being dumped meant someone else did it to you. You will survive this, focus on the bad things, and try and accept that you perhaps should have wanted out anyway. There are occasions when you think that everything was hunky dorey, and it comes a bolt out of the blue. That is tougher to accept, but accept it you must.
Strange things happen in life, but there is no way that you can make someone love you. The reasons people fall in love are as diverse as the people who do it, but there is no way you can make someone do so. If you have done this then attempt to learn a valuable lesson, don't invest time in going down that road in the future.
5. SURVIVE THE FIRST WEEK
Right you have managed the first couple of days and you are now thinking what next. Find the hope levels inside you, underneath the layers we all have different hope levels. When Pandora opened the box, all the evil in the world came out, but left inside the box was hope. It is our ultimate defence that we believe that a situation will get better. If you are struggling to find hope then dig down deeper. Hope stops you wallowing in your own misery, if you need to mope, do it in the early on, and then set a time limit. Wallowing for too long a period of time, makes you feel worse, and reduces your self esteem. Set realistic time limits to move on as fast as possible. Yes I know it hurts, we all know that because it has happened to every single one of us at sometime or another. If you still have a desperate need to wallow then say to yourself - yes I can every day from say 3.00. P.M. - 3.30 P.M., but focus on getting your head back together in the remaining times of the day. Force yourself to get out although it may be the last thing on the planet that you feel like doing. Try exercising during the week, and see how much better you feel afterwards.
6.PAMPER YOURSELF AND BOOST YOUR COMFIDENCE.
You have been through the mangle, but don't let yourself be destroyed. Think about all the things that make you a unique person, as well as the reasons why you deserve to be loved in your own right. Everyone has the right to be loved, so don't lose the sight of this fact. Have a manicure and a pedicure, go and get some retail therapy and enjoy yourself. Even if you are a guy buy yourself something that you have been wanting for ages. Go on treat yourself. Make yourself feel important and valued as a person.
7 GET BACK IN THE DATING ARENA
After a month your psyche should be starting to heal, think about your gaols, what do you want out of dating, and make it happen.(at least in terms of dates rather than a long term relationship.
8. ENJOY YOURSELF
Don't start taking dating too seriously, it is meant to be fun not a sophisticated type of torture.
1. DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY
You may have been dropped, but it may not be your fault. You may have a holistic approach to your emotional life, but maybe your date did not. Even if you accept that the break up is coming, it still hurts, it is traumatic. Age is not a great help here, it is always difficult to accept rejection.
2. WALLOW AND GRIEVE FOR YOUR LOSS
Accept the fact that the first couple of days are the hardest mentally and that once you have survived that you are on a roll to picking yourself up, and dusting yourself and getting back into the fray. If you feel like bawling your eyes out, and eating buckets of cookies, that's O. K. for a couple of days.
If you need to get help and support from your friends then ask them to help. The most damaging thing that you can do to your self esteem is to go back and contact your ex. That means e- mail, text and telephone, try and let it go. You are trying to pick yourself up to start again, there is no point in going back. You have to try and bury it with dignity, and whatever you have to do to achieve that, then go for it. If it means moping around, then mope. If it means having a makeover, then do it.
3. BURY ANY EVIDENCE OF YOUR EX
Whilst you are feeling annoyed, angry or disgruntled, and let down, destroy any painful reminders of your ex, such as photos. Try not to listen to music that meant something to both of you, it is OK to wallow in your grief, but do not rub salt in an open wound. This does not mean that you will never listen to that music again, you may even speak to your ex again, but give yourself an even money chance to heal now.
4.MAKE A LIST
Where you have taken down the photographs of your ex, replace it with a list. Draw up a list of the things, that really annoyed you about your ex. No I don't believe you - there has to be something!, if you are thinking he/she was perfect, you are idealizing him. The more humorous this list is the better you will feel, give yourself a laugh even if only through a veil of tears. Part of the pain of being dumped is that it is something that is outside your control, you may accept that the relationship was pear shaped, and maybe you wanted to end it, but being dumped meant someone else did it to you. You will survive this, focus on the bad things, and try and accept that you perhaps should have wanted out anyway. There are occasions when you think that everything was hunky dorey, and it comes a bolt out of the blue. That is tougher to accept, but accept it you must.
Strange things happen in life, but there is no way that you can make someone love you. The reasons people fall in love are as diverse as the people who do it, but there is no way you can make someone do so. If you have done this then attempt to learn a valuable lesson, don't invest time in going down that road in the future.
5. SURVIVE THE FIRST WEEK
Right you have managed the first couple of days and you are now thinking what next. Find the hope levels inside you, underneath the layers we all have different hope levels. When Pandora opened the box, all the evil in the world came out, but left inside the box was hope. It is our ultimate defence that we believe that a situation will get better. If you are struggling to find hope then dig down deeper. Hope stops you wallowing in your own misery, if you need to mope, do it in the early on, and then set a time limit. Wallowing for too long a period of time, makes you feel worse, and reduces your self esteem. Set realistic time limits to move on as fast as possible. Yes I know it hurts, we all know that because it has happened to every single one of us at sometime or another. If you still have a desperate need to wallow then say to yourself - yes I can every day from say 3.00. P.M. - 3.30 P.M., but focus on getting your head back together in the remaining times of the day. Force yourself to get out although it may be the last thing on the planet that you feel like doing. Try exercising during the week, and see how much better you feel afterwards.
6.PAMPER YOURSELF AND BOOST YOUR COMFIDENCE.
You have been through the mangle, but don't let yourself be destroyed. Think about all the things that make you a unique person, as well as the reasons why you deserve to be loved in your own right. Everyone has the right to be loved, so don't lose the sight of this fact. Have a manicure and a pedicure, go and get some retail therapy and enjoy yourself. Even if you are a guy buy yourself something that you have been wanting for ages. Go on treat yourself. Make yourself feel important and valued as a person.
7 GET BACK IN THE DATING ARENA
After a month your psyche should be starting to heal, think about your gaols, what do you want out of dating, and make it happen.(at least in terms of dates rather than a long term relationship.
8. ENJOY YOURSELF
Don't start taking dating too seriously, it is meant to be fun not a sophisticated type of torture.
What Do Women Find Attractive In A Man?
Men, if you think you?ve got what it takes to turn the heads of the ladies, you may be mistaken! Likewise, fellas, you may indeed have what women want! A survey was taken of a group of women, ages 29-50 and listed below are some of their likes and dislikes when it comes to the male species!
POSITIVE FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
When asked the question ?What is the first thing you notice when you see or meet a man?? some of the responses included:
Probably his eyes - "the windows to the soul"; then his butt, for sure!
I like bigger guys. But I also notice white shirts and if a guy is clean cut.
Visually, his height/build (I like 'em big) Personality-wise, intelligence and sense of humor rank high with me.
I always notice the eyes and overall cleanliness first. He doesn't have to be in a three piece suit but just clean, not stinky or wearing holey clothes. A great smile doesn't hurt either :)
Left ring finger, teeth and smell and in that order. If I see a man is married, I rarely give him a second glance. If he?s single I look at his mouth to see if he has straight teeth (I had braces at 40 years old, so I guess I expect straight teeth from grown men) and finally his scent. I absolutely adore the smell of cologne on a man.
Well the first things I usually notice are his eyes and sense of humor. Then if he was someone I was dating, I observe how he treats his mother.
OK don't laugh, but I guess I noticed teeth because I was a dental assistant when I met my husband. Oh ya, I also tried to check out his "package" but it was very hard to tell if anything was there!
His smile and physique.
Conversely, there are some things about a man that are an instant turn off to the gals.
NEGATIVE FIRST IMPRESSIONS: Long hair, bad breath, body odor, "wimpy" or fem appearance.
Generally any kind of unkempt appearance.
No little tiny ones, short in height that is, I?m afraid I?ll have to pass by those gents who are vertically challenged.
Fuzzy sweater teeth and scuffed up, unpolished shoes. Dirty hands, dirty nails.
I hate dirty ears. If the guy has earwax, I will notice immediately and it makes me gag! I would never be able to date someone who doesn't clean his ears regularly.
Long fingernails and dirty/too long/unkempt hair.
Looking at my body instead of my face. Use of vulgar or profane language. Intoxication or drug usage. Evidence of poor personal care habits.
So there you go, men. The women have spoken. Basically if you smile and don?t stink, you have an ?in?. Conversely, if your personal hygiene leaves much to be desired, you can forget it. Now go wash your hands, get a hair cut, use a q-tip, brush your teeth and smile pretty for the babes!
POSITIVE FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
When asked the question ?What is the first thing you notice when you see or meet a man?? some of the responses included:
Probably his eyes - "the windows to the soul"; then his butt, for sure!
I like bigger guys. But I also notice white shirts and if a guy is clean cut.
Visually, his height/build (I like 'em big) Personality-wise, intelligence and sense of humor rank high with me.
I always notice the eyes and overall cleanliness first. He doesn't have to be in a three piece suit but just clean, not stinky or wearing holey clothes. A great smile doesn't hurt either :)
Left ring finger, teeth and smell and in that order. If I see a man is married, I rarely give him a second glance. If he?s single I look at his mouth to see if he has straight teeth (I had braces at 40 years old, so I guess I expect straight teeth from grown men) and finally his scent. I absolutely adore the smell of cologne on a man.
Well the first things I usually notice are his eyes and sense of humor. Then if he was someone I was dating, I observe how he treats his mother.
OK don't laugh, but I guess I noticed teeth because I was a dental assistant when I met my husband. Oh ya, I also tried to check out his "package" but it was very hard to tell if anything was there!
His smile and physique.
Conversely, there are some things about a man that are an instant turn off to the gals.
NEGATIVE FIRST IMPRESSIONS: Long hair, bad breath, body odor, "wimpy" or fem appearance.
Generally any kind of unkempt appearance.
No little tiny ones, short in height that is, I?m afraid I?ll have to pass by those gents who are vertically challenged.
Fuzzy sweater teeth and scuffed up, unpolished shoes. Dirty hands, dirty nails.
I hate dirty ears. If the guy has earwax, I will notice immediately and it makes me gag! I would never be able to date someone who doesn't clean his ears regularly.
Long fingernails and dirty/too long/unkempt hair.
Looking at my body instead of my face. Use of vulgar or profane language. Intoxication or drug usage. Evidence of poor personal care habits.
So there you go, men. The women have spoken. Basically if you smile and don?t stink, you have an ?in?. Conversely, if your personal hygiene leaves much to be desired, you can forget it. Now go wash your hands, get a hair cut, use a q-tip, brush your teeth and smile pretty for the babes!
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